“No having sex at school” was the new community agreement that was added to our preschool classroom list.
Sex in preschool? 👀 As an adult hearing a child talk about sex can be unsettling. As adults we bring our own understanding and definition of this word to the conversation. It is important to remember that the word sex has a very different meaning for our children based on their age and exposure to the topic.
In this instance referenced above, one child came to school and had learned a new word. His understanding of what it meant was to hide under the blankets with a friend and give them a kiss. During our class meeting, we talked about “sex at school” and that is how I understood the child’s meaning of the word. We talked about how important it was to ask our friends if they wanted a kiss and appropriate places to give a kiss (hand or cheek) and that it is not necessary to hide to give a kiss if your friend says yes to a kiss. If your friend says no to a kiss, this means no kiss (early understanding of consent). We also talked about how fun it is to hide under blankets and build forts in the classroom.
So, what about talking about sex and sexuality with our older children, pre-teens, and teens? Again, the answer is that it depends on where the child is developmentally. Sex and sexuality can be taboo and challenging topics to discuss AND sexual health and wellness is so important in life. Remember we are raising our children to be adults one day!
Here are a few tips to help with your “sex talk” journey:
✔️Do your own work around what we believe and can express about sex and sexuality. We bring our “baggage”, experiences, influence from our cultures and religion which inform how we talk about sex and sexuality.
✔️Get comfortable with eventually talking to your child about exploration of their body, sex, and sexuality.
✔️Normalize talking about the body, sexuality, and sex in an age appropriate way.
✔️Keep your answers simple. When children are growing and learning, their curiosity is rooted in where they are developmentally. For example, a 6 year old CHILD:”why is my penis hard when I touch it?” ADULT: “the skin of your penis is extra sensitive so when you touch it, it gets hard…it will go back to normal soon.
✔️Keep the lines of communication open as your child becomes a teen. Foster a relationship where your child can talk to you about these topics.
For more specific support for talking to your child about their bodies, sex, and sexuality direct message me.
Educational Consultant 