Back to School Jitters

They did it!! Or should I say, we did it? The first week of school is behind us and we survived. As I reflect on what was so unique about the start of this 20/21 academic school year, I am reminded that we are still processing the experiences of a pandemic. Specifically, going to in person school amidst the fears and anxieties that may be looming around COVID. There may be uncertainties and insecurities but also excitement of being back in person which feels like a BIG deal this back to school season. Despite how scary going back to school might feel to some of us, I marvel at how brave, assured, and resilient children are despite it all!

In our home, we spent the last couple of weeks transitioning from unstructured long summer days to thinking about more structured days full of regular bedtimes, wake-up times, and back to school expectations. We also spent time talking about all of the safety protocols of mask wearing and hand washing/sanitizing. We did school shopping, filled the cabinets with all the favorite school snacks, picked out the first day of school outfits, took the first day of school pictures, and we felt ready.

Before the actual first day, the excitement was mounting in our household. Tours of the schools, orientation days, and talk of what the first day would be like. My youngest had a hard time sleeping days before out of pure excitement. These reactions to returning to school were good things and positive, right? In taking my cues form my children, which I often do, I suppressed my feelings and did not have time to pay attention to the low levels of anxiety looming under the surface for me. I just continued getting our family ready for this major transition back into school while trying to enjoy the final days of summer vacation.

This was the first year that I have 2 kids at different schools…a middle schooler and a high schooler. My middle schooler has not been in a traditional school setting for 2 years and started at a new school this year. She has been my little buddy working along side me and I have had to have oversight and complete responsibility over her education. When the morning of the first day finally came, my youngest was up earlier than her alarm, was too nervous to eat her breakfast, and was buzzing with excitement. We packed her lunch, made sure she had everything on her list, and away we went. When we got to the school, we waited in the car line, and I pulled up to the curb to drop her off. I hugged her tight and wished her a wonderful day while reminding her that she would do great. She got out of he car and walked up to where other kids were gathered. Seeing her walk away form the car so confidently, brave, assured, strong, and ready released the flood gates of tears for me! We had done it! As I drove away, I thought, why all the tears. In reflecting on this, I realized it was my release, my joy, sadness, worries, pride; a crescendo of emotions. I was so overcome by gratitude to have my child fully equipped to take on the first day of school despite the fear, anxiety, and uncertainty of starting a new school during a pandemic. My high schooler had a very similar experience in that he was also very excited, however, it was not a new school with new friends that he was facing. At his drop off, my heart smiled as he walked onto campus also so excited, assured, brave, strong, and ready! We had done it!

My first day home alone and having both kids in school gave me more time and space to reflect on these going back to school jitters. What I have come away from this week is full admiration and respect for my children and all children for embracing their first days of this unique school year!. This year especially, they have to step into so many unknowns and face the world as they go back to school. Our children do this and are so brave as they show up as themselves; children that have the innate need to learn and be in relationship with others. At the end of the day all of the “noise” does not matter because their inborn needs supersede all of this. However, suppressing feelings and being distracted by the excitement does not take away from the fact that the transition back to school can be uniquely challenging and takes time.

Tips for the Back to school Transition:

• Remember that transitions to time.
• Remember that this is a unique school year-we all have low levels of stress that we may be dealing with.
• Create time and space for your child to decompress-being back to school is a big cognitive lift and the increased stimulation can create more stress. Your child may be more tired and maybe a little cranky.
• Go slow-ease into the fast pace of back-to-school pressures (e.g., homework, enrichment, and extra curricular activities). Planning clothes and lunches the night before are strategies for an easier morning.
• Try alternative routes to school..get the app Waze to discover the fastest route each morning.
• Talk with your child about how they are feeling about the transition back to school. Writing and/or drawing feelings in a journal is a great strategy for children.
• Fill your child with assurance and affirmations each morning.
• Talk with your child at pick-up. Ask about the their day. Here are some ideas: the “best” part, the “worst” part, the funniest thing that happened, the kindest thing they did for someone, the kindest thing someone did for them, the most exciting thing they learned.
• Prioritize time to decompress on the weekends so that your child can be rested and ready for school and any extracurricular activities at the start of the week.
• Build relationships with your child’s teachers.

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This past week I have processed my own feeling and had numerous conversations with family, fiends, and clients about their experiences with having their children go back to school. I am extremely happy for and proud of my children for stepping into this new school year. A big shot out to all of the teachers that are working so hard to bring quality experiences to our children and for you and your children for surviving the back-to-school jitters!

For more support on transitioning back to school, reach out to me for time to chat! Your first session is free!

Wishing you and your children a wonderful school year!

In partnership,

~Dr. Amber Morabito